MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 6 -SHIMOKITA ONE PLUS ONE-”, 29/03/2022
Tokyo Kitazawa Town Hall
187 Fans – Super No Vacancy
1. K-I (Kai) GP 2022 Semi-Final: “Yuki Ueno” defeated Shunma Katsumata after a Self-Destruct Chair Attack (16:58).
Today’s Hiragana Muscle show had to figure out what do you do when the star of the show pulls out sick? Yuki Ueno had to miss today’s show because of a fever and he was supposed to be the main character. Muscle Sakai and Amon Tsurumi apologized for his absence and explained it was too late to rewrite the script. They announced the role of “Yuki Ueno” was now going to be played by an invisible man. With that out of the way it was time for the show to begin.
Yuki Rock and Minamikawa introduced everyone to the K-I (Kai) Grand Prix. They wanted to celebrate the 18th Anniversary of MUSCLE (aka Katakana Muscle), the 2nd Anniversary of Hiragana Muscle and also the milestone anniversaries for New Japan and All Japan. They decided a 48 man one day tournament was the best way to mark the occasions. They introduced the bracket and used the Multiverse theory as their excuse to explain why DDT wrestlers were in the same tournament as their Muscle characters.
Now everyone had to figure out how to do a 47 match tournament in 100 minutes. Sakai’s solution was to do a highlights digest of Round 1. Then in Round 2 the ring would be divided into four sections for the A Block matches to all take place at the same time while the B Block matches would be held at a different venue to be broadcast on the screen. Round 1 began and all of the wrestlers tried to do a live action montage of the match highlights. Afterwards Rock & Minamikawa went to the Steel Chair Castle. There they told The Steel Chair Boys about the Kohki project that mixes traditional craft with professional wrestling. With Kohki they can use weapons not to cause fouls but to promote products! They were presented with three such items. The first is a steel chair painted with lacquer and containing a cushion made of brocade that results in a Super Hit when used as a weapon. The second is a Buddha Statue that will reduce the fighting spirit of whoever holds it. The third is a gong and mallet that hurts everyone who hears it during an out of the ring brawl. Rock & Minamikawa told The Steel Chair Boys they can all become rich together if they use these weapons in the tournament final!
Back at the Grand Prix, Round 2 began. The ring was roped off into four quarters with each of the A Block matches taking place in each section. The split didn’t last though and the eight wrestlers in the ring ended up getting in each other’s way. There was concern that the different universes interacting with each other would have reality changing side effects but the tournament continued. When those matches were over, the B Block was shown on screen. Each match allegedly took place at either an underground arena beneath the Tokyo Dome, outside Sumo Hall, inside the New Beijing Ochanomizu Dojo or on a street near the DDT dojo. The C Block was next and time was running out so every match was held under 2 Count Rules with a 100 second time limit. Finally the D Block took place with One Count Falls and 50 second time limits. One match ended in a draw and was supposed to restart with no time limit but Tsurumi called it off and chose the winner so the show could move on.
It was time for Round 3 but there was a problem behind the scenes. Tsurumi was angry at Sakai because he script had so much happening in the show already. Rock & Minamikawa offered to help out until everyone discovered that the rest of the script hasn’t been written yet. A halftime show then began with a musical performance by The Steel Chair Boys. Suddenly Human Chair Imanari started going insane from holding the lacquer chair. Luckily Tetsuya Endo made his mandatory run in and saved the day. The Finisher Boys then performed their songs and announced they are suspending activities on 31st March because Totaro Omoiki (Konosuke Takeshita) will be going abroad.
There was only time left in the show for the main event so the last match of the K-I Grand Prix was the semi-final between Shunma Katsumata and an invisible Yuki Ueno. It was a hard fought back and forth battle between the two friends. “Ueno” hit Katsumata with the BME for a nearfall and then followed up with the WR. On the count of 2 everything slowed down and “Etupirka” began playing. Katsumata gave a monologue from the heart, saying he and Ueno can make The 37KAMIINA the best unit together but he will not give up. He kicked out of the WR and fought back. Katsumata hit the Sauna Trance Splash but the match slowed down and “Etupirka” played again. This time Yuki Rock gave a monologue but it was just to advertise his Kohki products. He handed Katsumata the chair and Katsumata went crazy attacking “Ueno” with it. A bunch of run ins happened and Katsumata ended up bouncing the chair into his own face, knocking him backwards into Roll Up so “Ueno” could pin him for the victory.
Katsumata got on the microphone and told “Ueno” he is still strong. He is going to miss Takeshita while he is in America but still has the rest of The 37KAMIINA to keep him company. He wants all five members to make DDT and Muscle more exciting. Yuki Rock placed the chair in the middle of the ring for “Ueno” to sit on while Sakai gave the show closing speech. Sakai said he was worried when Ueno sent him the picture of his 39 degree temperature but he though the match “Ueno” had today was great. Everyone is coming off of a Sumo Hall show last week and a Korakuen Hall show yesterday which makes Sakai wonder how they are able to do this. Katsumata shouted out “Because I’m a professional wrestler!” Sakai perked up and made him shout it again. He then told “Ueno” to grab his big chance and accept his upcoming challenges head on fair and square. Sakai then ended the show asking everyone to give him all of their support so Ueno can rest easy for the next few days.
Dramatic DDT 