DJ Nira’s Evil Plan

August 10, 2010

Step 1: Steal Michael Nakazawa’s “Anus Dynamite”. This was done at the final Shin Kiba 1stRING show before Sumo Hall. To celebrate DDT’s success, Sanshiro Takagi had Nakazawa get ready to position the dynamite where the sun don’t shine and set it off. But before the fuse was lit, Yago Aznable and his crew ambushed them. DJ Nira grabbed the dynamite out of Nakazawa’s nether regions and fled.

Step 2: Attach the Anus Dynamite to Yago’s Space Colony. Set the power to full blast and guide the Colony on course to planet Earth. When entering the Earth’s atmosphere, switch off everything. Gravity will do the rest of the work.

Step 3: Make sure the Space Coloney is still falling down until you crash into “Sumo Palace”. Congratulations, you just performed mass genocide!!

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Posted by JamieOD

Michael Nakazawa Injured – Removed As CEO

August 10, 2010

It’s been a tough month for Michael Nakazawa. He dramatically saved Sumo Hall from Yoshiaki Yago’s evil plan to crash his space shuttle straight into the Ryogoku. The battle took a lot out of “Negetive Charisma” and it was feared that he would be doomed to lost in space forever. Luckily the fans in Sumo Hall formed together and used the lights from their cellphones to guide him home.

Unfortunately Nakazawa is now on the injured list recovering from a concussion suffered at some point during the Beer Garden shows. As if things weren’t bad enough, Nakazawa has been stripped of his role as DDT’s CEO (WWE General Manager). Toru Owashi has been chosen as the temporary CEO until the decision is made to determine the next person to permanently take the role.

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Posted by JamieOD