DDT “DDT VS CYBERAGENT STREET WRESTLING -MASOCHISTIC DEATH GAME-” Results

DDT “DDT VS CYBERAGENT STREET WRESTLING -MASOCHISTIC DEATH GAME-”, 21/12/2017
Tokyo CyberAgent Head Office
100,000 Viewers

1. Makoto Oishi, Shunma Katsumata & MAO defeated Sanshiro Takagi, Toru Owashi & Yuki Ueno when MAO pinned Ueno with a School Boy (5:52).
2. Danshoku Dino & Reika Saiki defeated Aja Kong & Gota Ihashi when Saiki pinned Ihashi with the Shining Wizard (4:35).
3. Noise Pervention Death Match: Kazunari Murakami defeated Super Sasadango Machine by TKO when Sasadango screamed over water (7:39).
4. Achievement Test: Reika Saiki & Gouma Ryu (400) defeated Saki Akai & Miyu Yamashita (0) (15:30).
5. Daisuke Sasaki & Tetsuya Endo defeated Makoto Oishi & MAO when Endo pinned MAO with the Shooting Star Press (5:24).
6. Danshoku Dino & Ken Ohka defeated Kazusada Higuchi & Hoshitango when Dino pinned Higuchi with the Danshoku Driver (1:47).
7. Konosuke Takeshita & Akito defeated Yukio Sakaguchi & Tanomusaku Toba when Takeshita pinned Toba with a Vertical Drop Brainbuster onto a desk (7:00).
8. Hardcore Match: Isami Kodaka Vs Jun Kasai ended in a Double KO (5:51).
9. Danshoku Dino, Konosuke Takeshita & Keisuke Ishii defeated Keiji Muto, Sanshiro Takagi & Jiro Kuroshio when Dino pinned Takagi with the True Danshoku Driver (9:58).

The AbemaTV broadcast of the event can be watched on this link here.

DDT invaded the CyberAgent head office into Tokyo during work hours to cause some havoc among their new owners. Danshoku Dino led the squad of Super Sasadango Machine, Makoto Oishi and Reika Saiki into the building with one goal in mind. Dino wanted to kiss the CyberAgent president Susumu Fujita! Dino is convinced Fujita is gay and kissing him in public will not only prove it but also transfer important company stock over to Dino in the process. Then Dino can change the name of the company to GayBarAgent. The squad met with an employee named Mr. Saito at the entrance. It was Saito’s task to follow them around for the day and make sure the DDT wrestlers don’t cause too much trouble. He gave them a key card giving them access to Fujita’s office on the 4th floor, so they went on their way.

When they entered the office they were greeted by Sanshiro Takagi on a monitor! Takagi told them that the 4th Floor was considered a No Go Zone so they had to move up to the 5th Floor. When Dino’s team arrived they were confronted by Takagi, Toru Owashi & Yuki Ueno. Takagi yelled at the top of his voice that Dino’s squad were an inconvenience to the CyberAgent staff who were trying to get on with their work day. He will only allow Dino’s team to advance if they could beat his team in a match. Oishi summoned the rest of NωA and they sang a song on the office desks. DDT referees and the announce team suddenly appeared in the room and the first match of the day began. Takagi’s team attempted some wrestling moves on NωA but the office surroundings made it a bit difficult. The wrestlers found a bunch of boxes and cardboard to attack each other with. MAO pinned Ueno with a School Boy to give Dino’s team the win. Dino kissed a nearby employee and stole his access card for the 6th Floor. Shunma Katsumata told Dino to go on without them.

Dino moved on to the 6th Floor with Reika Saiki by his side. There they found Aja Kong, Gota Ihashi and DJ Nira! Kong said she was waiting around for Fujita because she wanted to go to dinner with him. Nira said he wanted to leave but Kong knocked him out. Saiki told Dino to leave Kong to her and Match #2 began. Saiki tried to knock Kong down with a Shoulder Block but Kong withstood the attack. She kicked Saiki away. Ihashi then stepped in wanting a piece of Saiki. He tried to hug her but Saiki kicked Ihashi into Dino. The staff were horrified when Dino performed the Danshoku Nightmare on Ihashi. Kong stopped him by hitting him with a steel can. Ihashi made a grave mistake when he tried to grab Saiki but grabbed Kong by her breasts instead. Kong hit him with the Uraken. Saiki then gave Ihashi the Shining Wizard and got the three count. Kong handed Dino the card for the 7th Floor.

Tiredness began to effect Dino and he struggled to walk up the stairs to the next floor. When he arrived Takagi was there again. Takagi said he brought along a tremendous teacher to stop Dino. It’s the Heisei Terrorist, Big Kazunari Murakami! Luckily for Dino, Sasadango came to the rescue. He had the perfect plan to take care of Murakami. They all sat down to look at a PowerPoint presentation titled “Consideration On Management Of Street Wrestling In The Office”. Sasadango said the wrestling matches were too noisy and negatively effecting staff productivity. This could lead to bankruptcy! Sasadango and Murakami agreed to fight in a Noise Pervention Death Match. They would be penalised for making noise during the match. Whoever gets penalised three times would be the loser. Murakami put Sasadango in an Achilles Tendon Lock. Sasadango yelped in pain so 1 point was taken from him. Murakami then put Sasadango in a Sleeper Hold. Sasadango found some pepper and placed it up to Murakami’s nose to make him sneeze. 1-1. Murakami found an umbrella and used it to put Sasadango in a Crossface. Sasadango dragged himself over to a female employee’s desk and grabbed her shoes. He placed one of the shoes up to Murakami’s nose and he started to sniff it. Murakami was so excited he shouted “The Best!” and lost his 2nd point. Sasadango then lost his 2nd point when he found a bookshelf with Slam Dunk manga in it and he excitedly read a page out loud. Murakami won the match when he poured a bucket of water from a restroom over Sasadango, making him scream in agony. Dino feared that his mission was over but Sasadango told Murakami that this match was a test and he passed. He offered Murakami a job in GayBarAgent with an annual salary of 6.8 million yen along with private theatre screenings. Murakami wasn’t sure. Dino then gave him the pair of women’s shoes. Murakami said he doesn’t care about money but he’ll take the shoes. He then gave Dino the card for the 8th Floor.

Takagi was waiting for Dino again on the 8th floor. This time he had a different plan in mind. Dino couldn’t achieve his mission on brute force alone. He’ll have to use his smarts too. Match #4 will be a quiz! Saiki reappeared and with her was BASARA’s wrestling lawyer, Gouma Ryu. They were up for the challenge. Their opponents were Saki Akai & Miyu Yamashita. To put it mildly the quiz went bad for Takagi’s team. Akai & Yamashita tried to warm themselves up mentally by saying the days of the week in English but struggled when they got to Wednesday. They proceeded to not get a single question right while Dino’s team were correct with every answer. Even when the last question was rigged to give Takagi’s team more points for a correct answer than the entirety of Dino’s team score they couldn’t pull it off. With the quiz won, Dino went up to the 9th Floor.

There was still no sign of President Fujita. Instead on the 9th floor there was Daisuke Sasaki & Tetsuya Endo lazing around on a sofa. Sasaki had a card key and he was willing to sell it to Dino. Before Dino could answer, the NωA returned and challenged DAMNATION to a match. Sasaki & Endo lifted up the couch and ran over Oishi & MAO with it. They then fought into the kitchen where Sasaki pushed MAO into the fridge. Back in the office Endo climbed on top of a desk and hit the Shooting Star Press on both NωA wrestlers for the win. Sasaki told Dino afterwards that he was hired for 30,000 yen. Dino collected 43,000 yen from the employees around the office and offered it for the key card. Sasaki refused. Dino then got another 32,000 yen from Mr. Saito and this time Sasaki accepted the deal.

Dino was hoping to relax on the 10th Floor but he came across Kazusada Higuchi & Hoshitango doing sumo training. They challenged Dino to a Sumo Match. Ken Ohka appeared and accepted the challenge on Dino’s behalf. When he couldn’t win, he and Dino then asked for a normal wrestling match because they are all pro wrestlers. The sumo wrestlers put them in Argentine Backbreakers but Dino escaped and gave Higuchi the Lip Lock. He then hit the Danshoku Driver to win. However none of the sumo wrestlers had a key card. The employees in the room told Dino that President Fujita was down on the 3rd Floor. So down he went.

The doors to the 3rd Floor were locked so Dino, Sasadango & Oishi went in search of an employee with the key card. He found Fujita’s secretary and noticed his key card had the word “President” written on it. He used it to open the door and inside was an office with President Fujita sitting right there. Finally! Dino approached Fujita and told him it was time for CyberAgeny to become GayBarAgent! But before he could put his plan in motion, Mr. Saito stopped Dino! Saito confessed that he was a spy for Fujita all this time. Then Takagi appeared out of nowhere with a cylinder filled with sleeping gas. He sprayed it at Dino and his squad making them all fall asleep. Takagi and Fujita then escaped the office.

A while later Dino woke up and discovered his crew were now on the 13th Floor. There with them were Konosuke Takeshita, Akito & Keisuke Ishii. Takeshita told Dino they were on his side. With new allies, Dino went back on the search for Fujita. They came across Yukio Sakaguchi & Tanomusaku Toba who refused to let them pass. Takeshita & Akito challenged them to a fight around the office. ALL OUT came out victorious then quickly apologised to the staff for fighting on all of their desks. Sakaguchi gave Dino the 12th Floor key card as a Christmas gift.

Dino found Sasadango on the 12th floor but Sasadango was frightened. Why? Because Jun Kasai was there in a business suit holding a barbed wire baseball bat! Kasai approached them but was cut off by Isami Kodaka. Kodaka warned him to leave but Kasai pulled out the 11th Floor key card. He’ll put it on the line in a Hardcore Match! Kasai and Kodaka created chaos by hitting each other with computer keyboards and putting each other through tables. Kodaka even gave Kasai a brainbuster on one of the office desks that would not break under them. The fight took so much out of both that neither could get up so it ended as a Double KO. Kodaka used the last of his strength to give Kasai’s key card to Dino.

The work day was nearing its end and Dino was nearing his breaking point. But there was a light at the end of the tunnel on the 11th Floor. Dino arrived to meet Takagi one more time. Takagi saved his best and strongest defenders to last. Out walked Jiro Kuroshio & Keiji Muto! Takagi said with the power of pro wrestling they will never be defeated! Dino was backed up by Takeshita & Ishii for the final battle on the open office floor. Takeshita and Kuroshio went at each other knowing that they will soon face off in the D-King Grand Prix. Takagi held Dino for Muto so he could do the Shining Wizard. But Dino moved out of the way and Takagi took the blow! Dino went for the Lip Lock on Muto but Muto pulled Kuroshio into harm’s way. That didn’t work and Dino got Muto with a second Lip Lock. Takeshita hit Takagi with a Knee Strike then served him up to Dino for the True Danshoku Driver. 1…2…3! Dino vanquished the last of his enemies and could now finally get his hands on President Fujita. Muto didn’t want to let Dino go but everyone else held him back.

Dino made the long journey back down to the 3rd Floor so he could confront President Fujita. He entered the room but the only person there was Mr. Saito. Dino was too late. President Fujita had already left. Dino listened to Saito laughing at his failure but took it in his stride. Dino knows that his wrestling style draws many criticisms but it is his duty as a gay wrestler to laugh it off and be himself. Today’s mission wasn’t a failure because it attracted a large audience on AbemaTV, giving DDT and their style of pro wrestling so much attention. Even Takagi agreed. Dino couldn’t take away Fujita’s lips, but he did take everyone’s hearts in the audience. Mr. Saito said he was looking forward to DDT’s next mission. The broadcast ended with a title: “Finish The Lips Of Susumu Fujita Again! The Great Battle Of Shinjuku!”

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