Fall To The Hell, Drunk Gibberish

July 13, 2015

DDT “ROAD TO RYOGOKU 2015”, 19/07/2015
Tokyo Korakuen Hall

0. King Of Dark Title – Handicap Count Rules: Gota Ihashi (c) Vs Yasu Urano
1. 3 Way Tag Match: Kazuki Hirata & Hiroshi Fukuda Vs Masa Takanashi & Saki Akai Vs Tomomitsu Matsunaga & Hoshitango
2. Konosuke Takeshita & Kota Umeda Vs Toru Owashi & Kazusada Higuchi
3. Keisuke Ishii, Soma Takao & Shunma Katsumata Vs Danshoku Dino, Super Sasadango Machine & Makoto Oishi
4. Dramatic Pioneer Final Suicide! MIKAMI DDT Affiliation Final Match: MIKAMI, Isami Kodaka & Gorgeous Matsuno Vs KUDO, HARASHIMA & Sanshiro Takagi
5. Daisuke Sekimoto, Yuji Okabayashi & Hideyoshi Kamitani Vs Kota Ibushi, Daisuke Sasaki & Suguru Miyatake
6. Yukio Sakaguchi Vs Shigehiro Irie
7. DDT Extreme Title – Fall To The Hell Match: Akito (c) Vs Antonio Honda

Antonio Honda did a good job convincing Akito for a DDT Extreme Title match. They will fight under Fall Into The Hell rules. The ring ropes will be removed and victory can be achieved by pinfall, submission or knocking the opponent out of the ring.

There is no official stipulation added to Yukio Sakaguchi Vs Shigehiro Irie. However if Irie beats Sakaguchi again for the third time this month it will surely lead to changes in the Sumo Hall main event.

DDT “SHUTEN-DOJI BOX OFFICE ~WHAT ARE CHERRY BLOOSOMS WITHOUT ALOCOHOL~”, 22/07/2015
Shinjuku FACE

1. He Can’t Stand Anymore, That’s Enough, Oh God Save Him – Punch Drunk Glove Match: Hoshitango & Kosei Kubota Vs Tanomusaku Toba & Kota Umeda
2. Sakura Feast Soon, Greedy Old Hag In Longevity, Gorgeous’ Friendly Premature Death, Gorgeous Brahman No Return: Masa Takanashi, Emi Sakura & Kazuhiko Ogasawara Vs Brahman Shu, Brahman Kei & Gorgeous Matsuno
3. Soon Men And Women Will Quietly Sleep Drunk 5 Way Match: HARASHIMA Vs Daisuke Sasaki Vs Soma Takao Vs Konosuke Takeshita Vs Saki Akai
4. KUDO & Yukio Sakaguchi Vs Kengo Mashimo & Isami Kodaka

I’m just taking wild guesses at the match name translations at this point. Please understand.


King Of DDT Tomorrow

June 27, 2015

kingofddt2015-semi

DDT “KING OF DDT 2015 TOKYO”, 28/06/2015
Tokyo Korakuen Hall

0. King Of Dark Title – 3 Way Match: Gota Ihashi (c) Vs DJ Nira Vs Kota Umeda
1. King Of DDT 2015 – Semi Final: Yukio Sakaguchi Vs Kazusada Higuchi
2. King Of DDT 2015 – Semi Final: Daisuke Sasaki Vs Konosuke Takeshita
3. Sanshiro Takagi, Toru Owashi, Kazuki Hirata & Saki Akai Vs Shigehiro Irie, Tomomitsu Matsunaga, Hoshitango & Shunma Katsumata
4. 4 Way Tag Team Match: Antonio Honda & Hiroshi Fukuda Vs Keisuke Ishii & Soma Takao Vs Kota Ibushi & Suguru Miyatake Vs Danshoku Dino & Makoto Oishi
5. KUDO, Masa Takanashi & MIKAMI Vs HARASHIMA, Yasu Urano & Akito
6. King Of DDT 2015 – Final: X Vs X

This will be a big show and by the end of it expect some idea of what this year’s Sumo Hall card is going to be. The King Of DDT winner gets a KO-D Openweight Title shot in Sumo Hall but I bet there will be a few other announcements as well.

DDT “SHUTEN-DOJI BOX OFFICE ~WHAT ARE CHERRY BLOOSOMS WITHOUT ALOCOHOL~”, 22/07/2015
Shinjuku FACE

1. He Can’t Stand Anymore, That’s Enough, Oh God Save Him – Punch Drunk Glove Match: Hoshitango & Kosei Kubota Vs Tanomusaku Toba & Kota Umeda
2. KUDO & Yukio Sakaguchi Vs Kengo Mashimo & Isami Kodaka

Shuten-dōji is not going to take things easy for their self produced show next month. Tensions between KUDO and Isami Kodaka grew during the “TAVERN WRESTLING” show this week. They clash again but this time with Yukio Sakaguchi and Kengo Mashimo also involved.

The Punch Drunk Glove match sounds like an excuse for everyone involved to punch each other in the face as much as humanly possible.


DDT “DRAMATIC TENPOZAN! 2015” Results

January 11, 2015

rocknroll-swanlake

DDT “DRAMATIC TENPOZAN! 2015”, 11/01/2015
Osaka Port Kumin Center
418 Fans – Super No Vacancy

1. Makoto Oishi defeated Kouki Iwasaki with the Miracle Ecstasy (7:09).
2. Sanshiro Takagi & Toru Owashi defeated Tomomitsu Matsunaga & Kiai Ryuuken Ecchan when Takagi pinned Ecchan with La Magistral Cradle (10:04).
3. Konosuke Takeshita & Tetsuya Endo defeated Shunma Katsumata & Ryota Nakatsu when Takeshita pinned Nakatsu with the German Suplex (12:04).
4. MIKAMI defeated Keisuke Ishii with a School Boy (3:58).
5. New Year’s Annual Rock ‘N’ Roll Death Match: A. YAZAWA defeated Kazuki Hirata, DJ Nira and Shoichi Uchida when YAZAWA pinned all three with a Triple School Boy (14:00).
6. Kota Ibushi & Daisuke Sasaki defeated Shigehiro Irie & Soma Takao when Ibushi pinned Takao with the Sit Down Last Ride (12:40).
7. KUDO, Yukio Sakaguchi & Masa Takanashi defeated HARASHIMA, Yasu Urano & Akito when KUDO pinned Urano with the Diving Double Knee Drop (18:29).

Nearly one year into the unit’s existence, Shuten-dōji were victorious today in their birthplace of Osaka. They aim to celebrate their one year anniversary by winning the KO-D 6-Man Tag Team Titles in Saitama Super Arena next month. And they also want to beat Team Dream Futures tomorrow. Masa Takanashi then plugged the unit’s new DVD.

The Rock ‘N’ Roll Death Match made its return. In this match the wrestlers must “release their rock ‘n’ roll spirits” whenever music played over the speakers. However sometimes they got songs from Swan Lake so they all tried to dance as elegantly as they could. It was during Swan Lake when the four wrestlers linked up by holding hands. A. YAZAWA found an opportunity and rolled up the other three with a big School Boy for the triple three count.

MIKAMI caught Keisuke Ishii off guard with a Suicide Dive while Ishii was making his entrance. Then three minutes into the match MIKAMI pinned Ishii with the School Boy. After the match MIKAMI talked about Ishii missing an AJPW Jr. Heavyweight Title match because of illness. He told Ishii he was not rotting, life is just frustrating. It’s up to Ishii to crawl out of it and rise back up.

Sanshiro Takagi took time off during his match to promote the SHI-EN Pro Wrestling show taking place in Osaka Bodymaker Colosseum #2 on 21st February. He even forced Toru Owashi to take some of the tickets from the merch stand and hand them out to people in the front row.

Suguru Miyatake was taken off the show due to injury. Ryota Nakatsu took his place in Match #3 and Kouki Iwasaki took Nakatsu’s place in the opening match.


DDT “BEER GARDEN WRESTLING – SHUTEN-DOJI DAY” Results

July 29, 2014

birthday-yukio

DDT “BEER GARDEN WRESTLING – SHUTEN-DOJI DAY”, 28/07/2014
Shin-Kiba 1st RING
481 Fans – Super No Vacancy

1. KUDO defeated Tomoya Kawamura with the Diving Double Knee Drop (9:04).
2. Riho & Kotori defeated Cherry & Masako Takanashi when Riho pinned Takanashi with the Junior High Roll (14:11).
3. Summer Feature New Ghost Story Numabukuro Death Match: Yoshiko defeated Shunma Katsumata with a Lariat (2:58).
Other Competitors: Danshoku Dino, Toru Owashi, Hoshitango and Sayaka Obihiro.
3a. Summer Feature New Ghost Story Numabukuro Death Match: Amon Tsurumi read a ghost story (28:46).
4. Yukio Sakaguchi & KUDO defeated Isami Kodaka & FUMA when Sakaguchi submitted FUMA with the Modified Cobra Clutch (16:56).

Everybody sang Happy Birthday to Yukio Sakaguchi after the main event. He turned 41 on 26th July. Masa Takanashi said that the show was not Shuten-dōji Day but Yukio Sakaguchi Day instead.

One thing to expect during Beer Garden week every year is a ghost story from Hisaya Imabayashi. This time around there was a 6 Way Match taking place in the ring. If the match didn’t end in 3 minutes, Imabayashi would begin his story. Danshoku Dino was scared but Yoshiko bragged that she would win in 3 minutes. She lived up to her word and pinned Shunma Katsumata with 2 seconds left to spare. However the match had to be restarted with a 30 second time limit and this time Yoshiko couldn’t pin Katsumata before the clock ran out. And so, Imabayashi began his tales…

I once knew a couple who decided to have a barbecue with their friends by the river during their summer vacation. Everyone was happy until the boyfriend whispered “When I say run away. We run. Got it?” “Eh? Why do you say such a thing?” A few minutes later the boyfriend yelled “Run away!” At that moment both of them ran far away from the river. When they finally stopped to catch their breath, the girlfriend asked “Why did we run away?” The boyfriend answered “Everybody was eating food out of their left hand.” “Is that strange? Are not all of them left handed?” “It is impossible for all of them to be left handed. They must be ghosts!”

I killed my wife. Fortunately our kindergarten son was fast asleep when I put the wife’s dead body in the car. I drove up to the mountains and dug a hole to bury her in. The next morning my son ate breakfeast as always and went to kindergarten as always. I never explained what happened to her and he never made a fuss about it. But soon he became curious and would look me in the eye. Soon it became unbearable and I wondered if he knew I killed my wife. Then one day when we had our meal he just stared at me and at last he spoke “Why are you giving Mommy a piggyback ride all the time?” I looked behind me but couldn’t see anything. My son then said “Mommy jumped off your back and ran away.” I was left with chills.

I killed a man’s wife while she was pregnant. I buried her beneath a bench under a cherry tree in the park. A few years later I walked past the tree and saw a child crying. I asked him “Where is your Mom?” In tears, he pointed to the bench under the tree. No way… He looked at me when I asked where his Dad was. “Dad is… You!”

Everybody in the ring was anticipating the jump scare but this time it did not happen. Imabayashi admitted he was feeling tired. He just returned from a funeral of his friend who died in a sudden accident. There was a strange atmosphere in the train that day. There were only a few passengers but everyone according to Imabayashi was as dumb as a bag of hammers. He felt a cold sensation in his back muscles as if something just gave him a tight hug. As the train journeyed on into the night he fell asleep until he heard a strange whisper, “You… Next up is you…” Imabayashi woke up and looked around but nobody was speaking to him.

Back in the ring Imabayashi pointed at the wrestlers everytime he said you, hoping to get some sort of frightened reaction. Toru Owashi just slapped his hand away. He looked forward Imabayashi’s ghost stories and was left disappointed. Katsumata said he became a pro wrestler just so he could get to hear the ghost story! Dino encouraged Imabayashi to try one more time. He did and this time his “YOU!” jump scare worked! He pointed at everyone in the ring one after the other, causing them to pass out in fright. Then “Wild Thing” played over the speakers while Imabayashi dumped bottles of water into the audience.


DDT “ROAD TO RYOGOKU IN SENDAI ~DRAMATIC DREAM TAN~” Results

May 4, 2014

kod6man-shutendoji

DDT “ROAD TO RYOGOKU IN SENDAI ~DRAMATIC DREAM TAN~”, 04/05/2014
Miyagi El Park Sendai
248 – Super No Vacancy Full House

1. 3 Way Match: Konosuke Takeshita defeated Michael Nakazawa and Tomomitsu Matsunaga when Takeshita pinned Nakazawa with a Dropkick (0:08).
1a. 3 Way Match: Konosuke Takeshita defeated Michael Nakazawa and Tomomitsu Matsunaga when Takeshita pinned Nakazawa with a German Suplex (6:27).
2. Makoto Oishi & Yoshihiko defeated MIKAMI & Antonio Honda when Yoshihiko pinned Honda with the Metempsychosis (11:33).
3. Tetsuya Endo defeated Guanchulo with the Sky Twister Press (7:23).
4. Lucha Libre Rules: Keisuke Ishii, Shigehiro Irie & Soma Takao defeated Sanshiro Takagi, Toru Owashi & Gorgeous Matsuno when Ishii pinned Matsuno with a Cradle (12:30).
5. HARASHIMA & Yasu Urano defeated Danshoku Dino & Akito when HARASHIMA pinned Akito with the Somato (15:15).
6. KO-D 6-Man Tag Team Titles: KUDO, Yukio Sakaguchi & Masa Takanashi defeated Kota Ibushi, Kenny Omega & Daisuke Sasaki (c) when Sakaguchi pinned Sasaki with the Penalty Kick (16:22).
*The Golden Lovers fails in V2. Shuten-dōji becomes the 10th KO-D 6-Man Tag Team Champions!

The drinks are on Shuten-dōji tonight because they are the new KO-D 6-Man Tag Team Champions! The main even saw Yukio Sakaguchi pin Daisuke Sasaki to end the Golden Lovers’ reign. Masa Takanashi taunted Kota Ibushi after the match for thinking the Lovers were going to win. Sakaguchi simply said “Today we won the belts. Kanpai!” and the new champs celebrated with a drink.

Even though he lost his match today, Gorgeous Matsuno demanded Keisuke Ishii & Shigehiro Irie to give him an All Asia Tag Team Title match on the 6th May Yamagata show.

The wrestlers’ bus was delayed by Golden Week traffic and only arrived 20 minutes after the building doors opened for the fans. The show was scheduled to begin with a Triple Threat match but only Konosuke Takeshita and Tomomitsu Matsunaga entered the ring. Just when they were about to start wrestling, Michael Nakazawa finally appeared yelling “Wait a minute!” and he rushed to the ring so the planned match can go ahead. Takeshita pinned him in 8 seconds with a Dropkick. They agreed to restart the match and Takeshita eventually pinned Nakazawa again.


DDT “ROAD TO SUPER SAITAMA ARENA” Results

March 9, 2014

DDT “ROAD TO SUPER SAITAMA ARENA”, 09/03/2014
Kasukabe Hall
350 Fans – Super No Vacancy Full House

Iron Man Heavymetalweight Title: Daisuke Sasaki defeated Kazuki Hirata (c) with a Cradle (1:06 pm).
*Daisuke Sasaki becomes the 995th champion.
1. Iron Man Heavymetalweight Title – Battle Royal: Kazuki Hirata defeated Daisuke Sasaki (c), Yasu Urano, Makoto Oishi, Michael Nakazawa, Gorgeous Matsuno, Akito, DJ Nira and Saki Akai (12:03).
1a. Michael Nakazawa eliminated Saki Akai with the Venom Maker (6:42).
1b. Daisuke Sasaki (c) eliminated Michael Nakazawa with a School Boy (6:50).
*V1 for Daisuke Sasaki.
1c. DJ Nira eliminated Daisuke Sasaki (c) with a Cradle (6:55)
*DJ Nira becomes the 996th champion.
1d. Makoto Oishi eliminated DJ Nira (c) with a Cradle (8:20).
*Makoto Oishi becomes the 997th champion.
1e. Makoto Oishi (c) eliminated Yasu Urano with a Ring Out (9:39).
1f. Makoto Oishi (c) eliminated Gorgeous Matsuno with a Cradle (9:50).
*V1 for Makoto Oishi.
1g. Kazuki Hirata eliminated Makoto Oishi (c) with a Cradle (11:33).
*Kazuki Hirata becomes the 998th champion.
1h. Kazuki Hirata (c) eliminated Akito by Ring Out (12:03).
2. MIKAMI defeated Tomomitsu Matsunaga with a Half Crab (6:44).
3. Keisuke Ishii & Shigehiro Irie defeated Kota Ibushi & Gota Ihashi when Ishii pinned Ihashi with the Fisherman Buster (11:10).
4. Infomercial Match: Sanshiro Takagi defeated Antonio Honda with the Stunner (9:27).
Iron Man Heavymetalweight Title: Sanshiro Takagi defeated Kazuki Hirata (c) by Pinfall (14:29).
*Sanshiro Takagi becomes the 999th champion.
5. Danshoku Dino defeated Soma Takao with the Danshoku Dino (9:45).
6. HARASHIMA, Konosuke Takeshita & Tetsuya Endo defeated KUDO, Masa Takanashi & Yukio Sakaguchi when HARASHIMA pinned Takanashi with the Somato (14:39).

KUDO, Masa Takanashi and Yukio Sakaguchi announced the name of their new unit. They are now called Shuten-dōji, named after a Japanese legend who had a thirst for sake. DJ Nira actually came up with the name while drunk. Unfortunately for them their first match under the new name ended in defeat. HARASHIMA and KUDO had a staredown after the match and both teams stepped in to seperate them.

For the last month Soma Takao has gotten the better of Danshoku Dino, highlighted by Takao pinning Dino to win the KO-D 6-Man Tag Team Titles as part of Team Drift. Dino was finally able to get one back and beat Takao in Singles action.

Sanshiro Takagi and Antonio Honda fought in an Infomercial Match that will be aired on Teletama next month. They had to promote Blackout Energy Drink by drinking cans of the product as they wrestled each other. Fans were also given signs advertising the drink to hold during the match. In a sight similar to Stone Cold’s beer bashes, Takagi made Honda spit out the drink with a Stunner and after the match celebrated by smashing cans together and pouring them into his mouth.

The night did not end there for Takagi. He also became the new Iron Man Heavymetalweight Champion. What makes it special is he became the 999th champion. Kazuki Hirata came to the show as champion but was attacked and pinned backstage by Daisuke Sasaki. Hirata came out at the start of the show demanding Sasaki give the belt back. The Battle Royal began and the belt changed hands from Sasaki to DJ Nira to Makoto Oishi and then back to Hirata who went on to win the match. Hirata reappeared later in the show to brag about winning back the title, even saying “If you smell what Hirata is cookin’!” Takagi snuck into the ring, grabbed the belt, struck Hirata with it and pinned him to win the title. Takagi said he wanted to be the 999th champion and will hold the title forever so nobody can become the 1000th champion!

Dick Togo made an appearance to announce he has moved to Vietnam and will open up a wrestling school there.