MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 7 ~IT’S STILL SUMMER ON THE KOSHU KAIDO~” Results

September 7, 2022

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 7 ~IT’S STILL SUMMER ON THE KOSHU KAIDO~”, 07/09/2022
Tokyo Korakuen Hall
544 Fans

1. UP & DOWN CLIMAX FIGHT ~ SWOUD Special Rules: Totaro Omoiki, Takaku Karahiko, Knee Cross Kinya, Baseball Bat Swing, Marume Komimatsu, Hisamitsu Chikuhisa, Sasadango, Yukidango, Yasudango & Surprise-san defeated Herman Miller Mao, Kazusada Kokuyo, AK Racing Yoshimura, Eames Watase, Human Chair Imanari, Itoki Oyoshi, One-Eyed Iron Naya, Daigouin Inada, Dee Jay & South River when Chikuhisa pinned Mao with the Amonken (37:31).

The final chapter of Hiragana Muscle began with a PowerPoint presentation from Super Sasadango Machine. He explained to the audience that his task for today is to figure out how to make the last episode an all round success. Ticket sales and merchandise are important but the biggest factor was how much they audience could get excited. Cheers and shouting were not permitted for the show due to restrictions but laughter and gasps of shock were allowed. So Sasadango got the crowd to give a standing ovation to kick off the show. There was also a montage video that ended with a tribute to Tsurutimo Dragon, aka the late Goro Tsurumi.

Amon Tsurumi is leaving DDT at the end of the year so he was the hero of today’s story. He was seen in the ring training with Konosuke Takeshita & Yuki Ueno when Yuki Rock interrupted them. Tsurumi revealed he wants to end his career as an idol wrestler and asked Takeshita to reform The Finisher Boys for a limited time so he can perform with them. Takeshita & Ueno agreed. Meanwhile up in the balcony, the former members of The Steel Chair Boys watched on. Since Shota is now in America he was replaced with Tetsu Unada and Yukio Naya in the group. Inada in particular set his sights on Tsurumi and declared war!

There was an introduction of all the characters followed by the title reveal for this episode, “UP & DOWN”. In the ring Takeshita talked to the others about his time training in Venice Beach when DJ Nira & Minamikawa confronted him. They came to warn that Naya High School, an elite group of badasses are trying to disrupt the balance of power and need to be stopped. Tsurumi asked if he can help but Nira turned him down. However The Finisher Boys saw the need to bolster their forces and decided to form the Finish Federation with their allies. Meanwhile the Naya High School were doing harsh knee training using chairs. Inada & Naya agreed to launch a conflict on all groups standing in their way!

Suddenly, Kazusada Higuchi collapsed holding his knee in pain. He was meant to be the gang leader but now he can’t go through with it. Luckily for them, MAO stepped into the spotlight introducing himself as Naya High School’s newest transfer student. He is a bad guy who loves fighting and offered to take Higuchi’s spot. A video then played of Tsurumi visiting the SWAN DIVE bar for a drink and also to look for info. Inada & Naya arrived shortly afterward looking for Sasadango. They want him to create a weapon to defeat the Finish Federation but he refused. MIC the bartender tried to intervene but got his arm broken by Inada & Naya instead. Tsurumi couldn’t do anything but stay hidden in the corner and watch innocent people get hurt.

Tsurumi had to move on with his investigation and found the information he wanted. He learned that Naya is the leader of the Naya Zaibatsu criminal organization and Naya High School is just a cover up. His goal is to redevelop the city into his own sumo arena and turn all martial arts into gambling events. Tsurumi vowed to protect the city from them and will not run away. However most members of The Finisher Boys wanted nothing to do with the war and walked out on Tsurumi, Takeshita & Ueno. They would have to take on this fight on their own. Tsurumi then went through a training montage that included video clips of Hisaya Imabayashi fighting Pheromones.

While all of this was going on, Sasadango met with his family for their monthly meeting. They looked over all of the movements going on and had to decide which side to take. There is Naya High School declaring war on everyone, the remains of the Finish Federation getting ready to defend themselves and a third party called NUDE BOYS on the fringes that could get involved too. Haruo Murata then got a phone call over at the commentary table. The caller asked if he thinks a fight was about to begin? Murata answered he’s been sitting at his table for 1 hour 40 minutes. The atmosphere feels like a fight is going to break out but none has happened yet. MIC then appeared with his broken arm and rang the ring bell. Murata excitedly said “The fight is about to begin!” The Sasadango Family called a cab and had 10 minutes to decide which side they will fight for.

Next we saw Tsurumi, Takeshita & Ueno outnumbered in the ring against eight members of Naya High School. The numbers game was difficult to fight against but a misfire from Yumehito Imanari led to him hitting Inada by mistake and the comeback was on. Tsurumi even did a big dive, jumping off the ring apron into everyone on the floor. Higuchi then grabbed him and threatened to finish him off when the Sasadango Family arrived in time for the rescue. The Finish Federation also returned to their aid. Tsurumi struck Higuchi with the Amonken Backfist but his pin was suddenly broken up by the NUDE BOYS! There was fighting and musical numbers happening everywhere. There was even Tetsuya Endo’s mandatory run in. Higuchi ordered MAO to attack Tsurumi with a chair when everything suddenly slowed down and “Etupirka” began playing. MAO slowly blocked the Amonken with his chair but Tsurumi fought through the pain and slowly threw another Amonken, nailing his target for the three count.

Tsurumi declared victory but Keigo Nakamura & Toi Kojima along with a badly beaten Yuki Ishida told him there was still fighting on the streets. Higuchi also said the war wasn’t over yet and he was ready go go another round. The fighting will continue. Tsurumi looked to the audience and apologised for being unable to save the city from the chaos happening around him. That was the end of this story.

In his closing speech Tsurumi said he thought he had a second chance at youth with the original MUSCLE but thanks to Hiragana Muscle he got a third chance. He learned that as long as you are alive you are young. Muscle Sakai said he’s been doing these shows since 2004 and today was the first time he was able to keep an event to under two hours. They have three more performances this week and told the others to keep up with making them fun and exciting. MAO complained the chair is too heavy to do slow motion spots with but promised to give it his all.

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MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 6 -SHIMOKITA ONE PLUS ONE-” Results

March 29, 2022

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 6 -SHIMOKITA ONE PLUS ONE-”, 29/03/2022
Tokyo Kitazawa Town Hall
187 Fans – Super No Vacancy

1. K-I (Kai) GP 2022 Semi-Final: “Yuki Ueno” defeated Shunma Katsumata after a Self-Destruct Chair Attack (16:58).

Today’s Hiragana Muscle show had to figure out what do you do when the star of the show pulls out sick? Yuki Ueno had to miss today’s show because of a fever and he was supposed to be the main character. Muscle Sakai and Amon Tsurumi apologized for his absence and explained it was too late to rewrite the script. They announced the role of “Yuki Ueno” was now going to be played by an invisible man. With that out of the way it was time for the show to begin.

Yuki Rock and Minamikawa introduced everyone to the K-I (Kai) Grand Prix. They wanted to celebrate the 18th Anniversary of MUSCLE (aka Katakana Muscle), the 2nd Anniversary of Hiragana Muscle and also the milestone anniversaries for New Japan and All Japan. They decided a 48 man one day tournament was the best way to mark the occasions. They introduced the bracket and used the Multiverse theory as their excuse to explain why DDT wrestlers were in the same tournament as their Muscle characters.

Now everyone had to figure out how to do a 47 match tournament in 100 minutes. Sakai’s solution was to do a highlights digest of Round 1. Then in Round 2 the ring would be divided into four sections for the A Block matches to all take place at the same time while the B Block matches would be held at a different venue to be broadcast on the screen. Round 1 began and all of the wrestlers tried to do a live action montage of the match highlights. Afterwards Rock & Minamikawa went to the Steel Chair Castle. There they told The Steel Chair Boys about the Kohki project that mixes traditional craft with professional wrestling. With Kohki they can use weapons not to cause fouls but to promote products! They were presented with three such items. The first is a steel chair painted with lacquer and containing a cushion made of brocade that results in a Super Hit when used as a weapon. The second is a Buddha Statue that will reduce the fighting spirit of whoever holds it. The third is a gong and mallet that hurts everyone who hears it during an out of the ring brawl. Rock & Minamikawa told The Steel Chair Boys they can all become rich together if they use these weapons in the tournament final!

Back at the Grand Prix, Round 2 began. The ring was roped off into four quarters with each of the A Block matches taking place in each section. The split didn’t last though and the eight wrestlers in the ring ended up getting in each other’s way. There was concern that the different universes interacting with each other would have reality changing side effects but the tournament continued. When those matches were over, the B Block was shown on screen. Each match allegedly took place at either an underground arena beneath the Tokyo Dome, outside Sumo Hall, inside the New Beijing Ochanomizu Dojo or on a street near the DDT dojo. The C Block was next and time was running out so every match was held under 2 Count Rules with a 100 second time limit. Finally the D Block took place with One Count Falls and 50 second time limits. One match ended in a draw and was supposed to restart with no time limit but Tsurumi called it off and chose the winner so the show could move on.

It was time for Round 3 but there was a problem behind the scenes. Tsurumi was angry at Sakai because he script had so much happening in the show already. Rock & Minamikawa offered to help out until everyone discovered that the rest of the script hasn’t been written yet. A halftime show then began with a musical performance by The Steel Chair Boys. Suddenly Human Chair Imanari started going insane from holding the lacquer chair. Luckily Tetsuya Endo made his mandatory run in and saved the day. The Finisher Boys then performed their songs and announced they are suspending activities on 31st March because Totaro Omoiki (Konosuke Takeshita) will be going abroad.

There was only time left in the show for the main event so the last match of the K-I Grand Prix was the semi-final between Shunma Katsumata and an invisible Yuki Ueno. It was a hard fought back and forth battle between the two friends. “Ueno” hit Katsumata with the BME for a nearfall and then followed up with the WR. On the count of 2 everything slowed down and “Etupirka” began playing. Katsumata gave a monologue from the heart, saying he and Ueno can make The 37KAMIINA the best unit together but he will not give up. He kicked out of the WR and fought back. Katsumata hit the Sauna Trance Splash but the match slowed down and “Etupirka” played again. This time Yuki Rock gave a monologue but it was just to advertise his Kohki products. He handed Katsumata the chair and Katsumata went crazy attacking “Ueno” with it. A bunch of run ins happened and Katsumata ended up bouncing the chair into his own face, knocking him backwards into Roll Up so “Ueno” could pin him for the victory.

Katsumata got on the microphone and told “Ueno” he is still strong. He is going to miss Takeshita while he is in America but still has the rest of The 37KAMIINA to keep him company. He wants all five members to make DDT and Muscle more exciting. Yuki Rock placed the chair in the middle of the ring for “Ueno” to sit on while Sakai gave the show closing speech. Sakai said he was worried when Ueno sent him the picture of his 39 degree temperature but he though the match “Ueno” had today was great. Everyone is coming off of a Sumo Hall show last week and a Korakuen Hall show yesterday which makes Sakai wonder how they are able to do this. Katsumata shouted out “Because I’m a professional wrestler!” Sakai perked up and made him shout it again. He then told “Ueno” to grab his big chance and accept his upcoming challenges head on fair and square. Sakai then ended the show asking everyone to give him all of their support so Ueno can rest easy for the next few days.

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MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 5 TOKYO PERFORMANCE” Results

September 1, 2021

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 5 TOKYO PERFORMANCE ~NO MORE SPECIAL MOVES ANYMORE~”, 01/09/2021
Tokyo Korakuen Hall
565 Fans – No Vacancy

1. Pro Wrestling “Kata” Group Final: Federal Republic Of Isubekistan (2) defeated Republic Of Creatord Tobago (1) and United States Of Finish (1).
1a. Single Match Section: Takaku Karahiko defeated Kazusada Kokuyo and DJ Nira by Audience Judgment.
1b. Tag Team Match Section: Itoki Oyoshi & Shota Okamura defeated Totaro Omoiki & Baseball Bat Swing and Yuki Rock & Minamikawa by Audience Judgment.
1c. 3 Way Match Section: Amon Tsurumi defeated Knee Cross Kinya and Herman Miller Mao by Audience Judgment.
1d. Backstage Comment Section: AK Racing Yoshimura, Eames Watase & Human Chair Imanari defeated Marume Komimatsu and Hondusty Rhodes by Advisor Judgement (Honorary Advisor: Danshoku Dieno).
*Gold: Federal Republic Of Isubekistan, Silver: Republic Of Creatord Tobago, Bronze: United States Of Finish.
2. Remote Pro Wrestling: Tetsu Inada defeated Shota Okamura with the Last Ride (23:47).
*Gold: Tetsu Inada, Silver: Haruo Murata, Bronze: Super Sasadango Machine.

United States Of Finish: Totaro Omoiki (Konosuke Takeshita), Takaku Karahiko (Yuki Ueno), Baseball Bat Swing (Shunma Katsumata), Knee Cross Kinya (Akito) & Marume Komimatsu (Kazuki Hirata)

Federal Republic Of Isubekistan: Kazusada Kokuyo (Kazusada Higuchi), Herman Miller Mao (MAO), AK Racing Yoshimura (Naomi Yoshimura), Itoki Oyoshi (Choun-Shiryu), Shota Okamura (Shota), Eames Watase (Mizuki Watase) & Human Chair Imanari (Yumehito Imanari)

Republic Of Creatord Tobago: Yuki Rock, Minamikawa, Amon Tsurumi, DJ Nira, RAM RIDER & Hondusty Rhodes (Antonio Honda)

The latest adventures of Hiragana Muscle began with a PowerPoint presentation from Super Sasadango Machine. It was called “What Is Public Awareness?” and he talked about his struggles to make Muscle famous around the world. His hopes for 2.9 Dimensional Pro Wrestling catching on fell on deaf ears and his mood got worse when he found out Super Delfin is successfully putting together a similar idea with his own musical pro wrestling show. To solve this problem, today’s special guest is famous voice actor Tetsu Inada. The idea already paid off with evidence of The Great O-Kharn allegedly tweeting about the show.

Inada narrated the story while the producers Yuki Rock and Minamikawa introduced everyone to the show. Amon Tsurumi then came out and gave a huge announcement. A big sports festival is taking place today and they’re hosting it! This event only happens every 40 years because of the toll it takes on the athletes taking part. The opening ceremony began with a speech from Yuriko Koikebukuro, who looks like the Governor Of Tokyo. Rock got bored and started arguing with Koikebukuro. Each of the producers were then fired because Rock implied he has taken illegal drugs, Minamikawa previously made inappropriate TV shows and Tsurumi was caught looking at porn on the company laptop. The producers all swore revenge.

Meanwhile The Finisher Boys were busy training when they found out about the sports festival. Most countries declined to participant due to the pandemic leaving only three teams. The Finisher Boys will be there representing the United States Of Finish. Their enemies The Steel Chair Boys from the Federal Republic Of Isubekistan will also compete. Last but not least is the Republic Of Creatord Tobago consisting of all the creative types. The Finisher Boys had the least members on a team until a trainee named Secondotti Tetsuji (played by Inada) approached them asking to join. They accepted him but only when he said everybody in DDT are his favourite wrestlers.

Suddenly, The Steel Chair Boys entered the scene. Shota challenged The Finisher Boys to a fight in the form of pictograms. They easily defeated him but it was all a distraction so The Steel Chair Boys could kidnap Tetsuji! If our heroes want to rescue him, they need to win the sports festival! Luckily for Tetsuji he is being played by a famous voice actor so the villains actually took good care of him while he was captive.

It was time for the festival to begin. Every team would take part in several rounds of Pro Wrestling “Kata” against each other. Each participant would perform no contact pro wrestling against an invisible opponent and fans would vote for the best performance. The master of ceremonies Danshoku Dieno oversaw the proceedings and would give the deciding vote if any audience poll ended in a tie. In the Singles Match Section, Yuki Ueno won the vote with his rendition of a midcarder wrestling in the second match of the third show during a tour outside of Tokyo. It beat Kazusada Higuchi’s performance of a heavyweight double down spot and DJ Nira doing the standard opening moments of a wrestling match.

Round 2 was in the Tag Team Section. Yuki Rock & Minamikawa performed the Tetsuya Naito & SANADA tag team. Konosuke Takeshita & Shunma Katsumata choreographed a tag team style that will become popular in the American indies some day in the future. But the winners were Choun-Shiryu & Shota Okamura who bounced around the ring as if they were getting beaten up by Strong BJ.

Round 3 was fittingly the 3 Way Match Section. Akito, MAO and Amon Tsurumi worked together to tell the story of a 3 Way Match that has a complete amateur also involved. Tsurumi was that amateur but he tricked Kinya & Mao into linking their arms together while back to back. He then pushed both of them over upside down onto their shoulders for a double pin. That won him the support of the crowd, tying the medals table at one victory a piece.

It all came down to the final round. The Backstage Comment Section. The remaining participants from each of the teams went backstage and gave post-match interviews for famous moments in wrestling. Hondusty Rhodes did a promo based on the aftermath of Wrestlemania III. Next was Kazuki Hirata throwing a chair around like a mentor pushing around his student. Finally Naomi Yoshimura, Mizuki Watase & Yumehito Imanari did a reenactment of Tatsumi Fujinami’s “Dragon Revolution”. It’s a famous scene where Fujinami confronted Antonio Inoki for not stepping aside and letting his generation step up. Watase committed to the bit and cut off bits of his hair just like Fujinami did. It was worth it because that won his team the gold!

The sports festival ended and the next scene was Sasadango recording his radio show with Inada. Things took a turn when Inada realised this is a wrestling show and he has a chance to live out his dream of becoming a pro wrestler. Sasadango refused because he doesn’t want to deal with any trouble caused if Inada gets hurt. RAM RIDER came up with a solution. They can do a Remote Pro Wrestling match with Inada shouting out orders to his team of wrestlers. Inada and Sasadango agreed to it and they went down to the ring.

The match itself is 5 Vs 5 with Inada coaching The Steel Chair Boys while Sasadango ordered around The Finisher Boys. Things went south when Sasadango was hit over the head several times with chairs. He needed to be replaced so Haruo Murata took his spot. The Steel Chair Boys continued to dominate under Inada’s commands until Tetsuya Endo made his mandatory run in and cleared the ring. He then gave a motivating speech to Murata before leaving. Inada and Murata then spoke to each other about each of them living their dreams. They both agreed it was time for them to wrestle! They begun their match when suddenly, Shota ran in with a chair ready to attack Murata. Inada stopped Shota with a Lariat and, with the help of everyone else, delivered the Last Ride to win the match!

Inada and Murata embraced after the match. Inada then received the gold medal from Yuriko Koikebukuro. The show ended with Inada talking about his love for pro wrestling. He also wished both Tsurumi and Yuki Ueno a happy birthday.

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MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 4 TOKYO PERFORMANCE” Results

March 9, 2021

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 4 TOKYO PERFORMANCE ~THE OTHER SIDE OF SPECIAL MOVES~ HIRAGANA MUSCLE FESTIVAL 2021”, 09/03/2021
Tokyo Korakuen Hall
588 Fans – No Vacancy

1. Opening Act – Mixed Systema Martial Arts Rules Showdown: Shinya Aoki defeated Minamikawa when Minamikawa said “Ouch!” (R1 3:44).
2. 2nd Act – Manzai Showdown: Yuki Rock & Hisaya Imabayashi Vs Mizuki Watase & Yukio Naya ended in a draw.
3. 3rd Act – Freestyle Mike Performance Showdown: Kazusada Kokuyo (Kazusada Higuchu), Herman Miller Mao (MAO), Shota Okamura (Shota), Itoki Oyoshi (Choun-Shiryu) & Velbon Imanari (Yumehito Imanari) (3) defeated Naguttaro Omoikiri (Konosuke Takeshita), Dokufuki Wagner Jr. (Yuki Ueno), Kota Metsubusi (Akito), Tsubushigaoka Kinteki (Shunma Katsumata) & Rantonio Rodorigo Nogueira (Kazuki Hirata) (2).
3a. Tsubushigaoka Kinteki defeated Herman Miller Mao by Audience Judgement.
3b. Itoki Oyoshi defeated Rantonio Rodorigo Nogueira by Audience Judgement.
3c. Dokufuki Wagner Jr. defeated Velbon Imanari by Audience Judgement.
3d. Kazusada Kokuyo defeated Kota Metsubusi by Audience Judgement.
3e. Shota Okamura defeated Naguttaro Omoikiri by Audience Judgement.
4. Main Act – Wrestling Showdown: Hondusty Rhodes (Antonio Honda) & Ramridusty Rhodes (RAM RIDER) defeated DJ Nira & Naguttaro Omoikiri (Konosuke Takeshita) when Hondusty pinned Nira with the Bionic Elbow (19:05).

The Hiragana Muscle brand is growing with today’s show being the first of two performances being held this month. There’s a problem though. Yuki Rock and South River Minamikawa want to know why is Muscle not included in the big “CYBERFIGHT FESTIVAL 2021” event taking place on 6th June? Joining in with the complaint is RAM RIDER, the musician who has been producing the songs used in Muscle’s musical acts. He believes the 2.9 Dimensional Pro Wrestling concept is still lacking in the music department because the wrestlers can’t sing, they can only lip sync. That problem was suddenly put on hold when the crew received a phone call. RAM’s father has fallen ill and is in critical condition. What follows is the “Story Of RAM’s House”.

Rock, Minamikawa & Amon Tsurumi were entered the ring to introduce the show. Tsurumi talked about becoming the DDT General Manager again, Rock mentioned losing his access to New Japan and being blacklisted by the company after he started appearing on Muscle shows. He demanded to be made the Muscle GM then challenged another comedian Kuniko Yamada to fight over who gets to be the NOAH GM. Tsurumi changed topics back to RAM RIDER’s situation. He explained RAM is from a family of pro wrestlers such as his father Hondusty Rhodes. But now that Hondusty is undergoing medical treatment, it is up to RAM to enter the pro wrestling business! Super Sasadango Machine agreed to handle RAM’s musical role in the meantime. Time to start the show.

The Finisher Boys were working out when they received an invitation to perform at the Hiragana Festival. That sounds exciting except for one thing. No lip syncing is allowed! Shota entered the ring along with Choun-Shiryu & Yumehito Imanari representing The Steel Chair Boys. He asked The Finisher Boys why they haven’t replied to the invitation yet? A fight broke out with The Finisher Boys coming out on top but they were left in a tired state. How can they sing live with such low stamina? DJ Nira entered the scene and suggested they all turn heel to become stronger performers. The Finisher Boys then danced.

The Folding Chair Boys returned to their base to lick their wounds and wonder if The Finisher Boys are turning heel. Kazusada Higuchi & MAO appeared on the western balcony declaring their intentions to destroy The Finisher Boys. In order to do that they will have to walk down the “Main Road” of pro wrestling. They are going to pay a visit to a house belonging to the parents of a certain musician. Rumour is the musician is trying to become a pro wrestler himself. They can train him! The Folding Chair Boys then danced.

Over at the Hondusty Dojo, RAM RIDER is learning Bionic Elbows from his family. He hears about the Hiragana Festival and finds out he can earn 100,000 yen to perform there. There is no pro wrestling involved, just singing and dancing. He shows up in disguise and performs as DJ One More Taima.

However his collaboration with The Folding Chair Boys is interrupted when DJ Nira attacks Taima. The Finisher Boys also run in and attack The Folding Chair Boys in heel like fashion! They complete their heel turn by changing their names to The Foul (Gimmick) Boys! Taima tried to fight them off with the Bionic Elbow but gets ganged up on. Hondusty entered the ring pleading with the Gimmick Boys to stop but they Power Bomb him instead.

Tsurumi threatened not to pay RAM RIDER because his performance had no singing. However RAM recorded the illegal threat on his phone and threatened to sent it to the media. This sent Tsurumi, Rock & Minamikawa into a panic. If this goes public then all of the future Muscle plans will get cancelled! They might all lose their jobs and will have to go work in Sasadango’s factory. Sasadango then put together a PowerPoint presentation to explain what went wrong and how it can be fixed.

Sasadango decided Minamikawa would have a Mixed Systema Martial Arts match against the strongest opponent he could find. It’s Shinya Aoki! The rules allowed three breaks per round so the fighters could take a breather. Also the first person to react in pain loses. Aoki only needed one round to submit Minamikawa, placing him in a Front Neck Lock and making him shout out “Ouch!”

With that over with, Sasadango showed his plans for Rock & Tsurumi. They were going to have a manzai comedy challenge against Mizuki Watase & Yukio Naya. Rock & Tsurumi’s duo name was The Harigane Sisters and they joked about Tsurumi’s family. Watase & Naya were called Taiho Tiger and they made fun of Real Japan. When they were done an epilogue flashed on the screen about the fictional comedy career of Hisaya Imabayashi after he left DDT. He performed on stage 30,000 times and passed away at the age of 80. Meanwhile Taiho Tiger qualified for the next round of this year’s M-1 Grand Prix.

Two more acts to go and it’s going to stay strange. The Gimmick Boys and The Folding Chair Boys were now going to have a rap battle! Five rounds took place as everyone rapped to puro theme remixes that Taima put together. The audience voted for each winner and The Folding Chair Boys ended up taking the challenge 3 rounds to 2.

Sasadango began the final act by announcing Muscle will be back in Korakuen Hall on 1st September. It was time for RAM RIDER to finally wrestle a match. He dropped the One More Taima gimmick and renamed himself Ramridusty Rhodes so he could fight alongside his father Hondusty. Together they took on the heel team of DJ Nira & Konosuke Takeshita. A ref bump caused a massive brawl to happen at ringside. That was the cue for Tetsuya Endo to make his advertised run in and dive onto everyone outside the ring. Takeshita grabbed a chair but Hondusty talked him out of using it. The dramatic finish then happened with Hondusty pinning Nira with the Bionic Elbow while RAM RIDER played music on his keyboard.

With the show coming to a close, RAM RIDER wanted to return to normal and go back to being a music producer. Takeshita apologised for turning heel and promised never to do it again. Also he needs to be a babyface for Muscle’s Osaka performance next week. Sasadango said he wants to continue making these kind of fun shows.

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MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 3 II ~FINISH DAI RANPATSU~” Results

November 9, 2020

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 3 II ~FINISH DAI RANPATSU~”, 09/11/2020
Tokyo Korakuen Hall
??? Fans – Withheld

1. DDT Vs Uki-Inter Full Scale Grappling War ~ 2.9 (Dimension) Int Rules: Itoki Oyoshi (Choun-Shiryu), Shota Okamura (Shota), Herman Miller Mao (MAO), Kazusada Kokuyo (Kazusada Higuchu) & Eames Watase (Mizuki Watase) defeated Marume Komimatsu (Kazuki Hirata), Takaku Karahiko (Yuki Ueno), Totaro Omoiki (Konosuke Takeshita), Knee Cross Kinya (Akito) & Baseball Bat Swing (Shunma Katsumata).
1a. Marume Komimatsu Vs Itoki Oyoshi ended in a Time Limit Draw (4:00).
1b. Takaku Karahiko defeated Shota Okamura with a Choke Sleeper (2:12).
1c. Herman Miller Mao defeated Takaku Karahiko with a Scissors Hold (0:44).
1d. Totaro Omoiki Vs Herman Miller Mao ended in a Time Limit Draw (3:00).
1e. Kazusada Kokuyo defeated Knee Cross Kinya with a Choke Sleeper (0:44).
1f. Kazusada Kokuyo defeated Baseball Bat Swing with a Straight Armbar (1:43).
2. Bonus Track: DJ Nira defeated Danshoku Dieno with Yamata no Orochi (12:26).

Remember that dress rehearsal from September? Well plans change. That entire show went so well that it cannot possibly be repeated with the same results. So Muscle Sakai had to come up with something else for today’s performance. The goal of Muscle is to merge together the worlds of reality, mange and pro wrestling. For example, manga panels of Sakai coming up with a new script was shown on the screen. Then The Finisher Boys appeared in the ring all representing different elements of Boys Love manga. Konosuke Takeshita represented hugging from behind, Yuki Ueno represented kissing, Akito represented choke play, Shunma Katsumata represented head petting and Kazuki Hirata represented the missionary position.

The line between reality and manga was blurred even further when The Steel Chair Boys (Kazusada Higuchi, Mizuki Watase, Choun-Shiryu, Shota & new member MAO) showed up for their own dance number. The only way to decide what is reality was for the two sides to use the Go To Reincarnation Campaign!

The Finisher Boys (minus Hirata) went to a DDT (Domestic Dotacan Team) tryout with Poison Hayashi, Jaya Tokubayashi (Hisaya Imabayashi), Super Systema Power (South River Minamikawa) and Camera☆Imanari (Yumehito Imanari) all observing their performances. After an exhibition match, the big president Shichihashiro Nayagi (Yukio Naya) walked in with Vice President Yuki (Yuki The Rock) by his side. Only two trainees would be hired but all four were so good that Nayagi decided to hire them all.

The next scene took place in a bar. We find out that Nobuhiko Sunada (Danshoku Dieno) and Kazuo Nirayamazaki (DJ Nira) were both fired in order to fit The Finisher Boys onto the DDT roster. They complained about the current style of DDT because they have wrestlers who use magic spells and computer programs in their matches. VP Yuki overheard them and agreed with the complaints. He also thinks DDT’s wrestling is strange. Why do the wrestlers bounce off the ropes? Why do they let opponents do moves on them? Why does a pinfall need to be a 3 count to win? He has an idea for a new promotion to beat DDT. It is called Uki Double F International! Or Uki-Inter for short. He already has sponsors, celebrity endorsements and wrestlers from DDT willing to jump ship. With Sunada and Nirayamazaki by his side they can rule pro wrestling! They get into a business alliance with The Folding Chair Boys who need the income because the Coronavirus was cutting into their finances.

Uki-Inter and The Folding Chair Boys launch their attack on DDT, crashing the main event of “NEVER MIND 2020”. The match becomes a 4 Vs 4 inter-promotional war. Uki-Inter gets the upper hand until Tetsuya Endo came down for his one contractual run in per Muscle show. He could have fought off the invaders by himself but he told The Finisher Boys it is their duty as DDT trainees to defend their seniors from the enemy. Endo left and both sides agreed to a way that would settle their confrontation.

The match will now be a 2.9 QUINTET survival contest! Both teams get five fighters and they will have 1 Vs 1 elimination grappling matches until one team is left standing. The matches took place in a ring with no ropes attached with Shinya Aoki on commentary. One by one the matches happened and in the end Uki-Inter won with two fighters left to spare.

The story was over and Muscle Sakai came out to give a closing speech. He explained that it’s been difficult for fans to express themselves at shows during the epidemic because they cannot cheer or boo for safety reasons. So he wanted to dedicate 10 minutes for the audience to tweet about the show and the wrestlers would vanity search them. Meanwhile Danshoku Dieno and DJ Nira would wrestle a match to pass the time. When the match ended and everyone finished retweeting the fans, Sakai announced that “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 4” will take place Spring 2021.

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MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 3 ~FINISH RANPATSU~ OPEN TO THE PUBLIC” Results

September 21, 2020

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 3 ~FINISH RANPATSU~ OPEN TO THE PUBLIC”, 21/09/2020
Tokyo Shinagawa The Grand Hall
??? Fans – Withheld

1. Konosuke Takeshita & Yukio Naya defeated South River Minamikawa & Mizuki Watase when Takeshita submitted Minamikawa with the Walls Of Takeshita (13:13).
2. HARASHIMA defeated Kazuki Hirata with a Middle Kick (11:38).

The last time we were with Muscle it was established that the brand represents 2.5D Pro Wrestling, which is an area that exists in between multimedia and reality. With this knowledge Super Sasadango Machine came up with the idea of making a 2.9D pro wrestling musical in the hopes it will become a successful multimedia juggernaut. Today was the rehearsal for “Finish Ranpatsu”. The completed production is supposed to take place on 9th November. Yuki The Rock & South River Minamikawa introduced everyone to the show then Minamikawa found out he was going to wrestle.

Minamikawa teamed up with Mizuki Watase to take on Konosuke Takeshita & Yukio Naya. He tried to teach Watase the Systema breathing technique that blocks out pain. It seemed to work against strikes but Takeshita & Naya switched to submission holds and Systema became useless. Minamikawa had Takeshita on the ropes after hitting him with a Shining Wizard. He tried to do the Gotch-Style Piledriver but Takeshita tripped him down and applied the Walls Of Takeshita. Minamikawa gave up but claimed it was because he’s running late for something else, not because of the pain.

After that match, the wrestlers came out and practiced their performance routines. The plot is about The Finisher Boys (Konosuke Takeshita, Yuki Ueno, Akito, Shunma Katsumata & Kazuki Hirata) and The Steel Chair Boys (Kazusada Higuchi, Naomi Yoshimura, Mizuki Watase, Choun-Shiryu & Shota). Some of it was dance, some of it was acting and some of it was wrestling. But tragedy struck when Sasadango was attacked by The Folding Chair Boys and they left him for dead. The show went into intermission with Hirata promising to become the next Super Sasadango Machine in the real world.

After the break, Sasadango came out with a halo above his head. He was here to tell a story about his history with DDT. Kazuki Hirata played the part of Muscle Sakai, Watase was given the role of WATASHIMA and Naya showed up as Big Boss. According to Sasadango, he joined DDT’s video team to learn how to be a movie director. He doesn’t remember much about the roster back then other than the main event babyface WATASHIMA was a jerk.

In the ring was the moment when Sakai became a pro wrestler. Sakai was filming the others practicing when they told him to take a bump. He did one and everybody was impressed. Sakai and WATASHIMA then had a sparring session. Sakai was given a Low Blow but he recovered and pinned WATASHIMA with a School Boy. Thus began Sakai’s pro wrestling career.

Fast forward to several years later. Sakai is busy both wrestling and running projects behind the scenes. WATASHIMA came to visit and offered him to smoke something out of a bong to stay relaxed. A reluctant Sakai agreed but regretted the decision when WATASHIMA challenged him to another sparring session. Suddenly The Folding Chair Boys arrived for an elaborate dance number and then helped WATASHIMA injure Sakai’s knee with a domino chair spot. The injury took its toll over time and Sakai had to retire.

It is now five years later. Sakai was now running his family’s business and he hired all of the shitty wrestlers DDT fired, like DJ Nira. But still Sakai deep down wanted to wrestle again. Nira offered him something mysterious to heal his knee injury. It is bamboo leaves, the kind they use to wrap around sasadango treats. If Sakai wears wrestling gear made out of bamboo leaves then he will be able to wrestle again without feeling pain. The Finish Boys then appeared and gave Sakai the Super Sasadango Machine costume. They then encouraged him to confront WATASHIMA and win the championship from him!

The scene is now the KO-D Openweight Title match between WATASHIMA and Super Sasadango Machine. Their match also featured The Finish Boys and The Folding Chair Boys fighting each other in a battle invisible to everyone else around them. Things then took another turn when Tetsuya Endo showed up and hit the Shooting Star Press on WATASHIMA. The ex-DDT wrestlers got their revenge on Big Boss and Sasadango created the Vertical Drop Lehmann Shock to win the championship!

Suddenly the performance was interrupted by Yuki The Rock. He questioned if this play was based on a true story because Sasadango never won the KO-D Title in real life. Hirata had gone too deep into his role at this point and thought he really was Sasadango and he really did win the title. This problem needed to be solved so Yuki brought out HARASHIMA! He snapped Hirata back to his normal self and explained that he was always average. He never stood out as the best of anything. For a long time he was content with just being that but seeing the other wrestlers get invested into Muscle made him jealous. Also he struggled to handle the cancellation of his 10th Anniversary show due to the pandemic. He jumped at the opportunity to take the lead role of today’s show but got too attached to it. He is satisfied with his performance today and now has the courage to challenge HARASHIMA to a match right there, right now!

HARASHIMA happily accepted the challenge and they had a proper match. Hirata fought his best and had encouragement from the wrestlers around him. But HARASHIMA put him down with a Middle Kick to win.

Still, HARASHIMA was impressed by Hirata’s performance. All of the wrestlers were, even the bad guys. Hirata got to show his real emotions in the ring today and that is a better tale than any true story.

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MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 2” Results

March 26, 2020

MUSCLE “HIRAGANA MUSCLE 2”, 26/03/2020
Shin-Kiba 1st RING
216 Fans

1. Team L Vs Team S ~Yuki The Rock’s Systema Special Training~: Konosuke Takeshita, Kazusada Higuchi, Yukio Naya & Yuki The Rock defeated Shunma Katsumata, Yumehito Imanari, Shota & Choun-Shiryu when Rock pinned Shota with the Stone Cold Stunner (11:12).
2. Hell In A Blue Sheet 2 ~Who Is In The Blue Sheet Rumble?~: X defeated Yuki Ueno, Akito, Mizuki Watase and Kazuki Hirata (12:14).
2a. Yuki Ueno eliminated Akito after the Heat Wave from Shunma Katsumata (3:51).
2b. Yuki Ueno eliminated Mizuki Watase with a Cobra Twist (7:02).
2c. Yuki Ueno eliminated Kazuki Hirata after the Rocket Punch from X (9:22).
2d. X eliminated Yuki Ueno with the Takatonic (12:14)
3. No People, No Webcast, No Tweet Loser Leaves Shin-Kiba: Big Prince Naya defeated Dream Boy Imanari after the Swivel Torture Rack from Tetsuya Endo (12:30).
3a. Rematch: Dream Boy Imanari defeated Big Prince Naya with the Chubby Knee Kick (4:44).

The second Muscle show began with Mizuki Watase and Yuki Ueno welcoming the audience. Ueno wore a gas mask for protection but took it off so the fans could see his face.

The teams being divided by size from the first show continued here. Now the teams have their own shirts to wrestle in too. Yuki The Rock joined Team L because South River Minamikawa had other priorities elsewhere today. Yuki got the pin on Team S member Shota while everyone else told Yumehito Imanari not to go all out because it was just the opening match. During this Yuki revealed to Imanari that HUSTLE used scripts for their shows 15 years ago.

The Team M wrestlers had their own match to worry about. It’s the return of the Hell In A Blue Sheet match! The Team M members along with a mystery X wrestler fought underneath the blue sheet with the commentary being the only thing describing what was happening to the audience. Whoever X was, that person wound up as the winner, last pinning Ueno with the Takatonic.

A few weeks ago at a public talk event, Super Sasadango Machine described Muscle as the 2.5 Dimension of all pro wrestling a mixed martial arts. By being in between the 2nd and 3rd dimensions, unusual things can happen such as slow motion wrestling or Muscle Sakai going over Atsushi Onita. The idea of being in the 2.5 Dimension comes from the differences between manga/anime and reality. So the next step is to make Muscle into a multimedia juggernaut with manga and a musical anime show! That will then make Muscle a 2.9 Dimensional experience!

A sample demonstration took place in the ring. “Finish Ranpatsu ~ ShinKiba Use Your Illusion I” (the manga can be read here) is about Dreamboy Imanari and The Finisher Boys battling Big Prince Naya and The Steel Chair Boys in ways that involved choreographed dance routines. Naya purchased New Fang Pro Wrestling during the Coronavirus epidemic for tax evasion purposes and he intends to flip it for a profit once the virus disappears.

The thrilling conclusion to the story took place right here in Muscle in a No People, No Webcast, No Tweet Loser Leaves Shin-Kiba match! The two sides fought in ways that merged pro wrestling and anime together. Imanari got the upper hand on Naya until Tetsuya Endo decided he wanted to be in the show after all and attacked him! He gave Imanari the Swivel Torture Rack Bomb and left him to be pinned by Naya.

Imanari was told to leave because he lost the match but he refused. Br He talked about how much Sakai inspired him to become a creative pro wrestler. He convinced Naya to have a rematch. The bell rung and Imanari fought on while getting cheers from The Finisher Boys. Imanari got the win in the end, hitting the Chubby Knee Kick on Naya. Naya accepted his destiny and began to leave but Imanari stopped him. He said they could walk off together, shoulder to shoulder. When they left, The Finisher Boys settled their differences with The Folding Chair Boys. Maybe they could form their own promotion together. The End…? Well no because Sakai mentioned after the performance that he is already working on the sequel.

The show ended with the announcement of “MUSCLE 3” taking place on 9th July at Shin-Kiba 1st RING.

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